Always

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It’s been almost a year, so I thought it was time to post. I will be posting more later this month, about Mighty Tripod Productions second feature film, The Parish. Also about the new series and films I got to be a part of in 2018. But for right now, I want to start with Always. My directorial debut, a film dedicated to our son, Caleb.

The idea for Always came to me in pieces after my husband and I lost our son, Caleb, December 30th, 2016. I wanted to tell a story that gave a voice to ALL parents who have lost children, whether the child was taken in pregnancy, infancy, teenage years or adulthood. I think being a mother is one of the most difficult and magical journeys. I want us to be able to share the good and the bad. The moments of happiness and the darkest times of grief. People say you need to learn how to “get through it”, depression. I couldn’t disagree more. I think we all need to embrace whatever it is we are going through, and learn to LIVE WITH IT. Then, and only then, can you truly take your next step and move forward.

Always is just one story, one glimpse into a couple and how they struggle to find their way back to one another. Many couples don’t make it through at all. But I believe if we communicate with each other, share our stories, stop blaming ourselves, then we will see that we are never alone. Our love is ALWAYS there.

Always has had it’s international and US premiere! First it’s international premiere in the Short Film Corner, as part of Cannes Film Festival. Then our local premiere, which SOLD OUT, in SIFF 2018! I had the honor of being asked for an interview on KUOW with Bill Radke (interview below). And Opening night of  SIFF , David (my husband) and I walked the Red Carpet and had a lovely interview with Art Zone with Nancy Guppy (interview below). I continue to get FB messages, letters, and in-person “Thank Yous” for sharing our story. My hope is to continue the conversation of losing a child and making others feel that #YouAreNotAlone.

Always is also an official selection in HollyShorts Film Festival and will screen Sunday, August 12th at Noon in the Seattle Block! I absolutely LOVE this film festival and couldn’t be more grateful to be one of their 2018 films!

We Are Moving Stories also contacted me and we had this lovely interview about Always. http://www.wearemovingstories.com/we-are-moving-stories-videos/2018/7/29/hollyshorts-always

Get your tickets now to see Always at Hollyshorts Film Festival (Seattle Screening Block): Hollyshorts Film Festival Always Tickets

Always on IMDB: Always

KUOW interview with Bill Radke about Always: KUOW Interview

Art Zone with Nancy Guppy Interview (at 13:06 mark): SIFF Red Carpet Interview

 

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Filmapalooza 2017 in Seattle!

The time has come! Filmapalooza is here! Like, really HERE, right in SEATTLE! What is Filmapalooza? It’s an amazing international film festival celebrating all the “BEST of the City” winners from 48 Hour Film Projects all over the world! And since we, Team Mighty Tripod, won last year for our Dark Comedy, One Step Too Far, we are screening in Filmapalooza! The festival started yesterday and our film was one of the kick-off films to the festival. I have already met filmmakers from numerous cities in the USA and outside the country. Beyond the accolades, I just love gathering in a Theatre with artists who #DontWaitCreate. We all want to tell stories, inspire, and share it with the world! If you are in the NW and want to see over 150 films, or even just 10 films, come to one of the Filmaplooza screening blocks and soak it all in! For more details on all the parties, panels and screenings go to… Filmapalooza on Facebook.

Our film is dedicated to my Father In-Law, James Hogan, who passed away a few weeks after we wrapped the film. Daddy Jim always brightened the room, he found light within any darkness.

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Goodbye to our baby boy and 2016…

I was going to do a post about my RANTS but life took the ugliest turn and there is only one rant I now have…

Last night was the most difficult night of our lives. My loving husband, David, held me for hours, as we sobbed over the loss of our son…

David and I hoped to make an exciting post for the New Year and welcome 2017 letting you all know that I was over 3 months pregnant and we were having a baby boy!

Life doesn’t always go how you plan. Life is full of twists and turns. Life sometimes feels like a sharp knife that decides to stab you in the heart and let you slowing bleed out from heartache. Life is often too short and merciless.

I have seen so many posts over this difficult year, telling 2016 to F*CK itself and I never could join in. Even though I still grieve that we had to lose Daddy Jim, David’s Dad this year. Even though my heart still feels broken from what occurred at Standing Rock. Even when I found myself in a ball of tears every time I saw, read or heard more about Aleppo. Even though this presidential election scared me, broke my loved ones, and continues to haunt my dreams. Even though…so much darkness. And yet, I knew we were pregnant and I couldn’t stay mad, sad or scared of anything. Our baby boy was growing, healthy, strong, active, beautiful, and perfectly inside me.

Our peanut…He decided to start his journey in late September. And just like one of my lines as Sylvia, from my most recent play “The Pride” at Theatre22…”I would pray with my whole body to feel it. The stirrings of it. A NEW life inside me. And I would KNOW the very night it happened” And I did! I knew it. I felt when he implanted. I told David, we are pregnant. And sure enough, days later, we took a test and we were.

So yes, this means I have been pregnant for months now, teaching at our studio, on set of films and most amazingly of all…I was pregnant during The Pride. This play was already such a powerful story I wanted to tell with Corey, Trevor, Andre and Doug. This play was already something I knew the community needed to remember, to be reminded and to relate. But to be carrying my own baby inside of me, while diving into a role of a woman who only wishes to have a child…it was magical.

David and I have already lost 2 babies. I had my first miscarriage over a year ago and I was 8 weeks along. All through the filming of The Cost of Things, my Director, and dearest friend, Tony Tibbetts, who knew I was miscarrying, he made it a point to take hourly breaks. I am sure the whole crew thought he was insane…but it was all for me…to go change my pads, as I lost our first child all day. My second miscarriage I wasn’t as far along but far enough. It was at the start of this year, 2016, while I was in Crimes of the Heart at Village Theatre. My understudy had just lost a family member, I didn’t want them to have her fly back for me, so the show must go on…and so did I. But not this time…this miscarriage, there was no film, no play, no Mama DiMarco making sure everyone else was alright first…this was just me, david and our baby.

Monday, December 26th, I started getting low abdominal pain, my OBGYN assured me this was round ligament pain and uterus growth. After two INCREDIBLE ultrasounds, of seeing our active baby boy, and healthy blood tests coming in every OBGYN visit, we had no worries. Now in this time of sorrow, I cherish the videos we have of our peanut waving at us, standing up, and that day we heard his heartbeat for the first time.
Then yesterday morning, after the lower pain had proceeded to get worse, I awoke to get up and pee, which you do a lot when you’re pregnant…and now I was bleeding…heavy. The next two hours that followed are something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. The physical pain…the amount of blood…and then…our baby boy…who fully released from my body…

Is that too graphic? Am I oversharing? Should I even be writing this? Why do I even need to ask these questions?! For any person, man and woman, trying to bring a life into this world, it is truly the most rewarding and challenging thing one can do. And yet, we are told to not talk about half of the journey, until such and such time, or not at all, because what if you lose the baby…exactly, what if YOU LOSE YOUR BABY. THIS is when we need people, loved ones, to know what we are going through, what we have done to get as far as we have and that this loss should NOT be alone. It’s like we are meant to feel ashamed that we cant have a child like “everyone else’…NO, there are SO MANY of us who can’t, who haven’t and who keep trying, even after multiple losses.

My mom drove 100 mph from Port Orchard to our house, getting pulled over by a State Patrolman, who then tried to console my inconsolable mother who explained she was just trying to get to her daughter who was losing her son. When she got here, Caleb, our son, was in my hand, I was still on the toilet, and David and Bruno were at my side. After what seemed like the worse part of it, we rushed to the ER. Hours hooked up to an IV, seeing an EMPTY abdominal and vaginal ultrasound, morphine, and blood tests and…I was sent home.

I started a Miscarriage Support Group, Ciao Bella, to gather woman together and share. This was after my first miscarriage. I wanted Ciao Bella, to be a place where we could say HELLO and GOODBYE to our babies here and gone. Because the journey of BEING pregnant is also not talked about enough. The pains, the changes, the do’s and dont’s. Yes, the internet is always there for you, to go insane with worry. But having actually HUMAN connection, sharing REAL experiences with those who care, THIS is what we all need in LIFE.

I can barely see the screen, as my eyes are so swollen from grieving for the past 24 hours. But I knew I was ready to share, to be open and to let you all know. I can tell you, our boy, Caleb DiMarco Hogan, is beautiful. I am so glad I got to hold him and when we all got back from the hospital, we buried him. I said a prayer, thanked him for the time we had with him, and now, here we are…

I am going to go back outside and sit with my son, even though I know that is just his “shell”, we know he is with us and that he is with Daddy Jim, my paternal grandparents, my maternal grandfather and my great grandma. We only hope he knows we love him and always will.

Caleb DiMarco Hogan 9/28/2016-12/30/2016

2016 the struggle was real but there was some good stuff too…

 

Mama DiMarco (me) has been pretty MIA on this webpage. Bad Mama DiMarco, baddddddd! But I am back with many rants and raves! I have SO MUCH to share and this post will highlight some of my 2016 RAVES (RANTS coming later this week) as an actor, teacher, producer, casting director and filmmaker. And a few personal ones too…

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(Being on David S. Hogan’s arm always makes me feel like a star)

Mighty Tripod Productions first feature film, Paralytic, made it into SIFF! We couldn’t be more proud! It was truly a milestone for many of us: the actors, the crew, the producers and our company, MTP. All the hard work and tears paid off. We sold out BOTH screenings and were moved to larger venues. Each audience had great feedback and the community really showed up in full force to support us. David and I are so grateful that our director/writer/producer, Joey Johnson, gave us the opportunity to make this film with him. We have deals in the works for distribution and more.

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Earlier this year I got to work at Village Theatre with Kathryn Van Meter directing me as Chick Boyle in Crimes of the Heart. I worked alongside women and men who I admire, and was on stage with them for months. Dreams come true!

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Brides To Be by First Sight Productions, directed and written by Lindy and Kris Boustedt got into MANY film festivals, and it’s also available ONLINE NOW! Annnddd Brides to Be went to GERMANY! BOOM! This started with a short film, Together Forever, and after we got MILLIONS of views we knew we had to make the feature. All the artists involved in making the short and the feature put their full hearts into it, and it shows. I couldn’t be more proud! Thank you Kris and Lindy for letting me be your Robin.

Team Mighty Tripod competed in the Seattle 48 Hour Film Project and we WON! We pulled dark comedy and made a film about a special kind of support group. Our film, One Step Too Far, brought home best score, the spirit award and BEST OF THE FEST. This means our film will screen and compete in Filmapalooza 2017!

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In March, David and I had an epic trip to Alaska with his mom. During the summer, my best friend, Meg McLynn, got married. I made more films with my incredible sister and her company Blue Forge Productions, one of which garnered me a best actress award. I also got to make another feature film, The Fairy’s Game,  with Elijah Nelson (my son from Switchmas). And our Mighty Tripod Acting Studio for adults and youth is rocking!

Did I mention I got to bring my Moms to SIFF and get a Red Carpet photo with them? Or how our film Cost of Things by Mighty Tripod was an official selection in Hollyshorts Film Festival and Seattle Shorts Film Festival? I also got to film more of the wacky series, Stroller Gangs, by Tom Skerritt. I cast my first TV Pilot (Tabitha Witch of the Order), and was thrilled to cast all Seattle actors. I LOVED my 2016 headshot session with the fabulous Lisa Levan.

And, to wrap the year up artistically before the Holidays, I had the honor of stepping into the shoes of Sylvia in my debut at Theatre 22 in The Pride.  The Pride is a play about loneliness, the layers of love, and how every life has it’s struggles. Thank you, Corey, for inviting me to tell this story with you.

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Alright, Alright, I know, I know, enough is enough, Angela. Well, that’s what happens when I’m away for too long. I’m sure I have forgotten something and will need to add it in later, but for now I have a smile on my face and am beyond proud of #FilmInWA #SeaTheatre #MightyTripod, and all my artist sisters and brothers. I will start to compose my RANTS blog for the end of the week. I WILL BE BACK!

Paralytic

I’m baccckkkkkkk!

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It has been way too long! Bad actor, baaadddd! But it’s all for a VERY good reason! We, Mighty Tripod Productions, joined forces with Joey Johnson and tackled our first feature film, Paralytic.

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Mighty Tripod has done many successful short films but this will be our first feature length film that we produce and star in. David and I dove into powerful roles, and loved being on both sides of the camera. We put together an INCREDIBLE cast and crew and now are full steam ahead into post production.

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We have major production value with the epic locations we filmed at and our stellar DP, Domenic Barbero. From a cabin on a lake in the woods, to city hall, and all the way over to the magical surroundings of Cave B winery on the Columbia River.

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Paralytic is a story about Carson (David S. Hogan), a contract killer who is hired but the new Patron to take down the Mayor.  Carson will join a team of other skilled killers, Anton (Deron Brigdon), Lance (D’Angelo Midili), Clarissa (Angela DiMarco), all managed by Sergio (Richard Carmen). Once Carson meets Clarissa, everything changes for the good and the bad.

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The film will take you on Carson’s journey and the present journey of Alice (Darlene Sellers), a small town sheriff who comes upon a dead body at the cabin. A film full of Greed, Lust, Murder, Loss, and the new Patron’s obsession with Paralytic Serums.

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I cannot wait to share this film! I learned so much during this process, I already want to put all that into another Mighty Tripod Production. But for now, we will take it one MIGHTY film at a time.

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#DontWaitCREATE

Twitter: @ParalyticMovie

Website: ParalyticMovie.com

Facebook: Paralytic – A Feature Length Thriller

MILES

Miles is a Mighty Tripod Production, written and directed by Jeremy Berg. image

When David and I read the script, we couldn’t wait to bring it to life! We gathered a stellar crew and shot over a weekend. Miles is a psychiatrist, struggling with his private practice.

Then Maggie Keyes comes into his office and her story starts to make him think. A psychological thriller about loss and living.

What Breaks You Often Makes You.

Speaking Out. Anti-Bullying.

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I grew up poor, born and raised in the projects of Whitecenter. After my Dad’s death, my Mom had to work 3 jobs to provide for Me and my older sister. Then my Mom met the love of her life, her wife of over 28 years. My sister and I took 3 metro buses across town to attend Summit K-12, an alternative School of the Arts. I had a reading disability and was grades behind until Mrs. Pennington took me under her wing. I signed with an agent when I was 8 years old and started diving in.

I wouldn’t change a thing about my parents, or how I was raised…but it was the people, the bullies who broke me down, throwing words, fists and leaving me scarred…

“You’re Short” “Flat Chested” “Ghetto” “K-Mart Kickers” “Trash” “Clown Face” “Your Mom’s a Leather Dyke” “Dumbass” “Rat’s Nest Hair”

From the age of 7 years old till about 13, I was torn down. There was one girl and boy who went out of their way to beat me down emotionally and sometimes physically…

High-school was better but a whole other kind of self-discovery. I blurred College with substance and creation to escape. Then when I was 20 years old, I moved to Los Angeles and it all started again. On top of back to back partners who made me feel invisible…

“You need a boob job” “Lose weight” “get botox” “Get a nose job” “You’re too ethnic” “You’re too short” “Afro hair”

Why am I posting this? Because I feel like many of us push forward, smile for the camera, and keep battles to ourselves. But battles are better won with an army! How I wish I knew how to not let them slowly chip at me until I broke.

It took me years to find myself again, my Mom and sister, have ALWAYS been by my side and make me a stronger woman. Then 13 years ago, I met David S Hogan, the first partner who makes me feel beautiful, loved and needed EVERYDAY.

And I have to give a special thank you to my Directors of #BridesToBe, Lindy Boustedt, Kris Boustedt and the cast and crew. I was surrounded by people who made me feel welcome, cared for, talented, sexy, and respected.

This is a difficult career to tackle, let alone LIFE is hard enough. Surround yourself with people who love you for YOU. Never let someone else tell you what you are or who you should be. My New Year’s resolution will be to listen to myself, do what’s best for me, and follow my own advice…

Be Daring. Be Honest. Be YOURSELF. Be Mighty.